The importance of play with your ASD child.


Like most parents, I like to observe my child at play. I like to watch her with her imagination going and how she behaves with her dolls and toys. Sometimes my child seems to not play with toys appropriately. There is a difference between using imagination and not using a toy appropriately.  One thing is to use a toy race car as a moon buggy, another thing is to use it as a roller skate. She also loves to hide everything in drawers and cabinets. It drove my mother, her Abuela, crazy !!! She would find her salt shaker in her vitamin drawer...lol!!!

Marley likes to take her plush toys, she has a Bowser and Enderman specifically, and wrap them with tape. She covers them in rolls of regular tape, the kind you would use when wrapping a gift. I'm still trying to figure out where she came up with this idea. It would take me about 10 – 15 minutes a to try and unwrap all of her plush toys. I would explain to her that doing this will ‘break’ her plush toys and they will become sticky and dirty. 
So what does my child do? Starts taping up her dolls instead !!! Poor Barbie still has tape in her that I do not have the patience to take out.  

I still don’t understand what drives kids with ASD to play in that manner, but I do understand that I can redirect her behavior to be more appropriate. Let her understand that taping her toys is not beneficial, or fun, to do with her toys.

That’s where the importance of playing with your ASD child comes in.

I would have never thought that I would have to learn how to play! I needed to learn that my response, as well as my own body language and position, was important in initiating an appropriate response from her. Yelling at her not to waste tape is not exactly what she needs in order to learn that using tape is inappropriate. Explaining that using the tape will stick to the plush and when I remove the tape some of the 'softness' of the toy will be pulled off will be more logical to her and she will then understand why its not appropriate to tape up her plush dolls. Phew, that was a mouthful !!! By playing with her I am able to engage in the activity with her and help her realize what appropriate behavior is with using toys.  

There is an art form in playing appropriately and with meaning.  I’ve heard of some books that help with this subject and even specific therapies (PICT, parent child interaction therapy).  It takes skill to learn what motivates a child in the moment and turning it into social engagement, and quite frankly….it's exhausting.

Here is a six and a half minute video about play therapy 



It's also just as important to have friends to play with. Its been just recently that Marley has had the desire to initiate any type of play with others. Her friend from horseback riding was the first friend that SHE made. This wasn't initiated by us or by any teachers or therapists. Her name is Branna and she is 8 years old. It was an instant connection !!! Luckily, hubby and I got along really well with her parents, Laura and Chris.  

Our first play date EVER with a friend that SHE MADE!!! It wasn't with our friends' kids and it wasn't from kids she knew from school. It was on Memorial Day weekend A.K.A. my birthday weekend. Branna, her brothers and her parents came over. It was very exciting for everyone!!! I was emotional because I thought this day would never come. 

My daughter is hosting a playdate!!! A good time was had by ALL !!! 

The water was freezing !!! But the kids didn't care !!!


The kids were so receptive to her.  They accepted everything about her, didn't even notice any of her stimming or quirkiness.
I also realized that it is just as important for us parents to have friends that understand what you are going through.  But thats the next blog post ... 
  

Our teeth were chattering just watching them swim in this cold water !



Our second playdate was with kids from her class.  What a blast !!!

These kids are together all day in a self contained class.  Which means there are 6 kids in one classroom with the same classification and/or diagnosis, and very similar level of academics. They spend about 5 hours, of the 6 hour school day, together dealing with social situations.  

This kids have a bond that I don't think anyone else will ever understand. They have their own language and understand each other perfectly.  They feed off of each other and know how to push each others buttons as well as comfort each other.  They get it !!!


They love the swing set.  Lots of sensory input here !
This is from the next playdate !!!
Look at that terrified face lolol!!!



Some pics from a "dance party" Marley had.

All these recent playdates made me realize that we all need a connection with others.  A support system is very important and very much needed.  We may not all understand each others every need or have the same exact situation, but we can support each other because we have 'been there'. Even if it's just to vent!  Who else will know what an IEP is or what ABA therapy is !!!!  It's a whole different life having a child with special needs and we all need someone that can understand that lifestyle.





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